Whats the Big Deal?



its a 3 day weekend

im loading up my truck

got tons of beer

might shoot a deer

blow the shit out of a duck

steve's got a crossbow

jamie a shotgun

anything that fuckin moves

ready aim fire BLAM!

oh my god i cant believe

the antlers on that buck

it would take 40 men

to load him in the truck

nice shot

got that sucker right between the eyes

lets get a cold one don

love seats made from hides

stock your smoke house full of meat

pink and blue and yellow keychains

made from rabbits feet

trade your jerky to the indians

enjoy a coon skin hat

whip up some homemade criscos

with the extra fat

im wishin

a flock of geese would fly on by

im hopin i can bag not 4 but 5 reloadin

jesus fuckin christ

thats the biggest moose i've ever seen

get my gun goddamnit get him!

if i cant shoot them

ill start a forest fire

watch em run

right at my gun

no need for oscar meyer

thats a fine lookin piece of meat young man

im ready for that one there

yeh that ones for me

trophies on your wall

slap some new boots on your feet

the wallet in my pocket

kinda smells like meat

a half a dozen quail

a hearty rack of lamb

there must be 50 beavers

in that fuckin dam





Lucky the Donkey



my mother fucked a donkey

down in mexico

she had trienta margaritas

trienta years ago

her purse had just been stolen

she had to make some cash

for 50,000 pesos

the donkey fucked her ass

im so ashamed it made me sick

my mother's box was his salt lick

human donkey fornication

her taco is the destination

it soon became apparent

it wasnt for the dough

a genuine fiesta - at the donkey show

the crowd would shout ole

as she nibbled on his sack

they never had a patron

demand their money back

the donkeys name was lucky

oh boy he loved to fuck

he'd get so damn excited

he'd kick and make you duck

if you want to be a star

its easy to be famous

just pull down your pants

and let lucky fuck your anus

a real freak show in the pit

the donkey's fuckin my moms tits

acting like a true ranchero

dancing around a big sombrero

lucky the luckiest donkey





Big Pink Dress



howdy folks its me again

got a message to convey

im so confused whats to lose

I think I might turn gay

on the day my bitch left

she said "stick in your rear"

she never thought she'd hear these words

"ooh your mustache is so tickly down there"

(drill my ass)

oh god its tight

(drill my ass)

this is my first time

(drill my ass)

love you - love you too

live with bill its such a thrill

we get it on so fine

we tend our garden everyday

sometimes we 69

play dress up have puppet shows

we skip and dance and sing

he's so helpful shaves my back

mark its my turn to wear the cowboy hat

(its so hard)

still in progress, check back later for rest of lyrics