I helped the bomber get a passport!

Entry #537
Thursday, February 7, 2002

I'm smoking cannabis. I feel pretty straight-laced saying that because my use -- at least my current use -- is medical. I remember Dennis Peron, that cat who spearheaded Proposition 215 in California, always saying all cannabis use was medical. Haha. I always laughed at that. Even though I understood what he was saying, I thought it was a bit silly. But right now my teeth are being rude little bastards. I should probably go pop a pain pill, since I can still feel the damn things, but I thought it was entertaining how a spot of cannabis makes the pain not as important. So right now, my use is actually medical.

But in all honesty, the reason I'm smoking pot is because I'm trying my damndest to help terrorists. Did you see that shit, the anti-drug commercials during the Super Bowl?

I helped murder kids in Columbia. I was just having fun.

Um, hello? Our anti-drug warriors are ravaging Columbia, dumping fucking round-up on villages. They're shooting down missionaries and infants in Peru. How'd you like to wake up and have all the trees in your neighborhood poisoned, or how'd you like to be out converting rural Peruvians and get killed by private contractors hired by anti-drug warriors from the US? We're spending a billion dollars to do this, which is a lot more than the portion of your coke purchase that goes down south.

I helped the bomber get a passport.

Translation: drug users brought down the World Trade Center.

You know what though? I bet the portion of your heroin purchase that went to those misogynist terrorists over in Afghanistan wasn't as helpful as the $43 million the anti-drug warriors gave them last year. A whole lot of folks -- namely people that gave a flying fuck about human rights or remembered those other terrorist acts by terrorists loitering in Afghanistan -- thought that was a bad idea. But the drug warriors don't care about that.

If you hate coke snorters and pot smokers, you're our kind of folks.

I can't believe those fucks are trying to capitalize on this terrorism thing. They're worse than those ad people during Christmastime.

Go shopping or the terrorists win!

Don't do drugs or the terrorists win!

Terror is alive and well thanks to anti-drug warriors; I'm appalled that they're trying to pin it on drug users.

You know what really got me with that commercial, though? At the end, this girl says, "my life, my body." And then there's a voiceover about how you could be helping terrorists.

Wait! "My life, my body?" They're mocking that statement? That sounds like something Thomas Jefferson would say. Who the hell are these people? How can they attack the phrase "my life, my body?"

So basically, what I'm trying to say here is no more bong hits for Jesus. From now on, it's bong hits for terrorism.

Comment on this entry

Aha! I knew you'd slip up sooner or later, terrorist mastermind Osama Ben Laden!

NEXT, ON DATELINE FRIDAY! Osama Ben Laden: Profile of a Killer

Bong hits for Jesus, ha!

Jerry Feelwell will appreciate that one.

Compassionate. Inquisitive. And you look really hot in a tuxedo. You are John Kelso.

"Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil"