One might classify me as a "white" male American. I am not a proud "white" male American. I am not a disgraced "white" male American. If I must be any type of "white" male American, I am an apathetic "white" male American.

Although I may be apathetic about this unbidden status, I loathe the initial impression I make many a time on account of it. Recently, I was at a concert. Taking a break from the musical barrage, I ventured into the theatre lobby. As I stood in the lobby, I noticed two grrls handing a 'zine to another girl, asking if she had seen it. I approached the two and told them I hadn't seen their 'zine.

"Well, it's a grrl 'zine," came the reply.

"What's this? Whaddya sexist?"

"Well, I mean, it's grrl issues, you probably wouldn't be interested."

"I'm interested in all issues."

The gave me a copy of "Super Ninja Girl" and we parted.

As I walked with my new 'zine, I thought about what they said. I knew they had a target audience, and probably weren't trying to be sexist, but I couldn't get over it.

It's about grrl issues, so I wouldn't be interested? Why wouldn't I be interested? What would I be interested in? Why do they have a preconceived perception of me based on my male status?

Who do these people think I am? Are my hands those of the man who beat you and your mother? Does my mouth speak words of the overweight klansman? It's quite the contrary, but how can I inform them of this before they make up their own minds? I can't.

Later on, during that concert, I had an in depth discussion with the two grrls. It seems that the first words they spoke to me were a "Freudian slip" of sorts. They explained that they were not trying to be discriminate, but that it was more of a protection for them, because when most people think of a riot grrl, it's usually not in a good light. After talking to them, I gained a little more respect for their passion and devotion, but was not impressed with the fact that for a little security, they would sacrifice the ideals they are supposedly trying to uphold in their quest for "equality."

I don't condone anything done out of discrimination. Even though people with the same "white" male status as I have fucked many people over because of their discrimination-dominant mindset, it lends no validity to others' perceptions of me based on that status. Even though one may feel the desire for reparations is justified, a perception of an individual based on unjustified stereotypes is transgressive and hypocritical.

oblivion@oblivion.net