Your Freshman year in high school is supposed to be a happy time. Don't get me wrong, it's not supposed to perfect, but you'd expect it to be happy. You join clubs, meet new people, and go to sporting events. Things aren't meant to be a living Hell. But sometimes things go wrong.
My year started off as most years do. I had a few good teachers, and pretty boring classes. My grandma lived in a nursing home, and I visited her nearly every weekend. My little town was somewhat boring, but it was also becoming embarrassing.
That spring, our town uncovered another dark and deadly secret. There was an alleged child sex ring in progress, which allegedly involved 30 children and and about 25 adults, including a pastor and his wife. Our town was becoming a joke, but the worst was yet to come.
Thursday, April 13, started off like any other day. I went to my morning classes, lunch, then my classes in the afternoon. In Health that day, Mandy was gone. Mandy was our class clown and one of our class trouble makers. We figured she was at home trying to learn more nasty words in Spanish.
That afternoon, my mom offered to give me a ride home. My mom works as an administrator at the school, so her offering me a ride wasn't unusual, and I gladly accepted the opportunity not to ride the bus home. We were riding along, not really talking, when we came to a stop light.
"Mauri" my mom said as she turned to me,"we need to talk about something."
"Ok." This didn't sound good. Did grandma die? Oh please God, don't let it be grandma.
"One of your classmates and their mother were murdered."
"Oh my God." Tears started to trickle down face. I braced myself as we pulled out into the street.
"Maury. It was . . . it was Mandy."
"No! No! Not Mandy!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs, so my mom pulled the car into the Dairy Queen" parking lot. I started crying uncontrollably. How could anyone have killed Mandy. "Why Mandy? Why not someone I don't care about? Why not some stoner, or some new kid? Why?"
"I can't answer that Honey. Why do any of us die?"
"No! I might understand if she died. If it was a car crash, or a boating accident. But she was murdered. Murdered!" I was still crying, but I pretty much had my tears under control.
I stopped crying after awhile, and my mom bought me a Blizzard, like that was going to fix everything. She drove me home, and told me to try and get some sleep. And she warned me not to listen to the radio or watch TV, she didn't think I could handle hearing about it.
I went into my bedroom, turned on the radio, and lay down on the bed. At five o'clock, the top of the hour news came on.
Laying on my bed, thinking about life's mysteries, I felt so alone. I needed someone to talk to, so I decided to call my good friend, Jessica, who was also a friend of Mandy's. One thought briefly flashed through my mind as I dialed the numbers "What if she doesn't know?"
"Hello," she sounds so calm.
"Hi, Jessica. How you doing?"
"Just sitting here being bored, watching Ricki Lake. How About you?"
I started crying. She didn't know. And I had to tell her. How could I tell her?
"What's wrong, Mauri?"
"Something happened," I choked out. "No, someone died."
"Did your grandma die?" she sounded worried.
"Haven't you been watching the news?" I started crying again. "No, you said you were watching Ricki. Why weren't you watching the news? Why do I have to tell you?"
"Tell me what?" She sounded so distressed.
"One of our classmates was murdered. Someone stabbed them and their mother repeatedly, and sexually assaulted both of them. They...killed them."
"Oh my God." Now she was crying. "Tell me who it is. No don't. No, I need to know, please tell me." I heard her mom asking her something in the background. "I'll tell you later, Mom."
"It....it....was," I could hardly talk, I was crying to hard. "It was Mandy."
"Oh no." She stopped crying briefly, to shocked to go on. "Not our Mandy. Oh God." Her crying took over, and soon I heard the phone drop.
"Mauri?" Jessica's mom had picked up the phone. "Jessica can't talk right now."
"I understand. Tell her that I'm thinking of her."
Our class, our school, went through a lot of grieving and changes that April, and not one person was left unaffected. Our memories from that time in life our basically sad or angry or scared, but in them is a flicker of hope. Hope for the future. Hope for a better tomorrow. And a hope for what lies beyond.